Old People

Damn they're annoying. Even more annoying than children and grown-ups if you ask me! (Yes, I'm 20-years old and I still use the term 'grown-ups' get used to it).

This morning I had to get onto campus early to check to see if I hadn't accidentally (read: retardedly) paid £30 for a ticket for an event that I had then gone and missed, (it turns out I hadn't, which is grand), and what should have been a 15 minute bus journey here was nearly doubled in time by the futile attempts of old people to get on and/or off the bus. Its maddening. I was maddened.

And like, this one time, a few days ago, it was raining, and there was this old lady on the bus, and I sat and watched her as she put a Morrisons bag over her head - like it was a completely normal thing to do! And then, perhaps because deep down the part of her that used to dance the Charleston told her that this was somewhat indignified, she then wrapped her scarf around her head - mayhaps to hide her shame!! But I just didn't get it - skin is already pretty waterproof, eons of evolution have afforded us that power, it needn't be backed up with the hydrophobia of a common plastic bag!

However, a small mote of comfort embraces me. It always seems to be the women who age the worst. Maybe its 'cos of all those disgusting parasitic children that grow out of them over the years, or maybe its because the older gentlemen have had it so ingrained into them through their national service years that it is imperative that one stands upright that they are then completely unable to hunch up and wither away the way their female counterparts do. Seriously, next time you see an old couple, compare the man to his woman, the man will likely stand tall, with a sense of (now somewhat distant, foggy-eyed pride), while the woman will look like one of those mean turtles from Super Mario Brothers.