Happy Dodecember

Hey everyone. First things first, happy Dodecember! I hope you all enjoyed your small morsel of chocolate today, I know I did!

Hey, so, has anybody ever seen this thing 'Heroes: Unmasked' that they show on BBC2, usually straight after 'Heroes'. Its basically the worst thing ever.

Essentially, its a 15 minute programme dedicated to informing you 'how awesome' the show that you have just deliberately taken 45 minutes out of your lives to watch just was. Sounds redundant? WELL THAT'S 'COS IT IS! And, additionally, to get you psyched up about the next episode - which is by this point almost farsical, as the season finale of Heroes was first broadcast weeeeeeeeeell over a year ago now, and does nothing but illustrate how slow the Beeb was to jump on the Heroes bandwagon. As it is, I'm not sure whether this terrible excuse of a quart-hour of broadcasting is a BBC2, licence-fee-payer-funded, production, or whether its a slight repackaging of a pre-existing US version of a similiar thing, (but with the voice of Anthony Head (whatever happened to the Stewart?) played over it).

I don't know.. maybe its part of a wider culture of these modern epic TV shows, like, I know Doctor Who makes a similar straight-afterward-behind-the-scenes-slash-awesomeness-recap show, that I, I admit, have occassionally watched. But this 'Heroes: Unmasked' thing is just terrible. Firstly, its devoid of a lot of the backstage stuff, (and the stuff it does have is universally unimpressive, "Look! We've made Los Angeles look like New York! How the fuck clever are we!?" and "Look! We're using a thinkputerbox to make a thing look more..." yeah, yeah, yeah whatever, you get the picture, unimpressive), and so, without that to fall back on, they rely on retarded interviews with actors.

Now, television actors are all basically idiots. But there are two kinds of telly-acting idiots for the purpose of this rant: the kind who knows shit-all about their character, refuses to let that on, and just rambles moronically and the kind who knows slightly more than shit-all about their character but who still ramble moronically. The two actors who appear most frequently are the actors who play Professor Poindextinder and Douchey Governface - the latter gives all of his interviews dressed in a NASA flight jacket and a cowboy hat, now, just imagine, for a moment, someone dressed in a NASA flight jacket and a cowboy hat... Don't you just want to beat them untill they stop moving, "SHUT THE FUCK UP! YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING ASTRONAUT, AND YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING COWBOY!!!"

What he actually is is an actor in a over-financed, under... -goodnessful TV show. Yet he thinks he's God's gift to female Space-Cowboys.

Sigh. I don't like 'Heroes'. Basically. Also, 'Heroes: Unmasked' is stupid. There, okay, I think that's my basic points carried across.

(In other news, its essay-season, and I'm thinking that it would be really great to be able to end all of my essays with tirades against pretentiously-dressed, shit-talking Hollywood pricks, and then conclude with the blatant lie that the preceding block of text actually expressed a coherent argument.)

Once again, Happy Dodecember buoys and grills.