Morecambe should hire me to make up slogans for them. Well... maybe they shouldn't. I would, afterall, just make up deliberately terrible slogans: "Morecambe: "The Most Dangerous Place in Britain" says Alan Titchmarsh", and "Morecambe: Blah Blah Blah, Whatever, Its Shit".
In other news, I went to Morecambe today. And it was crappy. Again. Although, I probably will take that back if I ever go there during the summer, seaside towns are really only to be enjoyed during the summer. However, I had a very specific reason to be there. A lea-flette told me that Marcus Brigstocke would be performing his comedic stylings - but, upon arriving at the Morecambe Platform, a man with weird teeth and a respectful demeanour told me that the show had been postponed untill the 25th January. Marcus Brigstocke, you lazy southern ponce!
Speaking of ponciness, I was actually fairly sure he was a gaymosexual, 'cos of this one time I saw him presenting some kind of Gay Comedy Award thingie... but nope, turns out he's as straight as a father of two. But yeah, the basic point of this portion of the blog is to ask whether any of you loyal readers want to trek up to see me around the Janule-tide season and witness such a comedic showcase with me. It'll be fun and cold, and fun, and wet, and fun, and miserable!
In other other news, it turns out that there is no such band as "Andy and the Ampersands". I find that really hard to believe, considering how brilliant and amazing a name that is... So, if anyone's going to start a band, you can have that name, SO LONG AS YOU PROMISE TO BE GOOD! I hate it when good band names are taken up by terrible bands.
Bye scamps and scampettes!
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4 comments:
I'm an avid reader of your blog, and a father of two, I take a large offense at you assuming that I and other fathers of two arn't gaymosexuals!
I apologise profusely Avid, (may I call you Ave?).
Only you'd think you'd realise some point during the initial conception that this malarchy wasn't your scene.
Unless you're a father of twins... then I guess you're excused.
*shifty eyes* FOR NOW.
HAHA. I LOVE YOU.
xxxx
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