Hola Chiquitos Y Chiquitas

Hey. Happy Cinqo de Mayo, the day when Mexican zombies inarticulately attempt to convince us of the miracle of life!

So, you may notice something different about me? A certain je ne sais pas, something both intangible and un-finger-put-on-able. Well, I shall satiate your curiosities, I am cool now.

That's right, totally cool. I entered a caccoon of awkwardness (in the guise of a tattoo parlour), and emerged as a butterfly of awesomeness. So yeah, I now have a tattoo, and its really cool, its a band around the top of my arm, a band made of a dotted scissor line (y'know like, coupons on the back of cereal boxes, and they have the dotted line to tell you where to cut along... yeah, like that).

Getting tattooed was pretty fun, I got to lie down in a well air-conditioned room for like a whole hour. On the other hand, there are rapid and frequent needlings occuring as the tattoomotron has its way with you, but as pain goes, it is thoroughly bareable, (apparently, the place I got tattooed, (the underside of the arm), is one of the most painful places, and even that wasn't so bad, (apart from a few times when the needle hit a nerve and it felt like someone had sliced all the way down the side of my torso with a vinegar-tipped scalpel)). The worst part was sitting in the waiting room, because, like, without knowing what to expect you can work yourself into a state. I tried to distract myself by reading an interview in a magazine with Buck Angel, but that was only semi-successful.

So yeah, I have that now. And I'm really happy with it. (Yay).

In other news, I've now decided that I'm transferring universities. I'm going to leave Lancaster University and restart my second year somewhere else, my second year here has basically been a giant fail - I managed to just about force out a set of below-par essays for my first term, but the second term, I just couldn't bring myself to sit down and write them. I mean, I'm pretty lazy when it comes to academic work, (and you better take that confession while you can, because I very rarely admit that), but this year its been more than that, like, in Sixth Form, I managed to force myself to work by telling myself, 'Tom, you have to work or you'll be kicked out' - but in Lancaster, there is literally nothing I would rather have happen than to be kicked out. I truly hate this place sometimes.

But there are other times when I actually quite like it here, and these times made it difficult to commit to dropping out earlier, (I think I first considered doing so in the second term last year...). But I've really been pushed over the edge this term. Like, one thing, when I leave Lancaster there will be absolutely no-one I will keep in touch with - i.e. I'm wasting my time! If I stay here and drastically try to finish my degree I will just regret it, I'd look back in years to come and think 'what a fucking waste of three years of my life', and I already have quite enough regrets thank you very much.

So a-transferrin' I shall go. Maybe I'll also take a gap year? MAYBE I'LL DO EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING!!!

In local news: I locked myself out of my house the day before last. I popped out to the pub across the road and forgot to take my housekeys. I knocked to get back in, but my housemates weren't there, (they usually leave for days on end, which I generally approve of, because I hate those cunts and wish they were dead), but this time it meant I was homeless.

I tried to, (and got quite close to), breaking into my house. Basically, my row of houses back onto an alleyway thing, but the alleyway is like 7-8ft further down, so all the back gardens end in a wall thats about 4ft tall on the house-end, and 8ft tall on the alleyway end. I managed to get into my back garden by borrowing a trolley from the Spar, propping it on its end against the wall and then climbing it like a ladder. I managed to get into my back garden, but then the back door was locked. Grr!

I spent the night at an acquaintences house. He had some friends over and they were watching Matrix Revolutions, which is a film I always used to defend, but after recently watching it, now think is crap - it does, however, have Michael from Lost in it.

The next day, the housemates still didn't return, and I was starting to smell! Like, even worse than usual. So I had to call out a locksmith. He turned up at the house, slid a plastic thing through the door and it popped straight open. Then I had to give him £55. That put me in a pretty bad mood.

Luckily, I got to watch the new episode of Family Guy, the new, Star Wars themed episode of Family Guy. It was good. There was a bit at the end when Chris was telling Peter that Robot Chicken had already done a Star Wars episode, and then Peter went and completely slated Robot Chicken, it was fourth-wall-breakingly funny.

AND NOW ITS TODAY! I've spent most of today waiting for a bus. Fun times.