The Ballad of Trolley Brown

Gather round bitches and bastards and hear ye a tale:
A tale of misery that's sure to make your frown,
Gather round and hear the Ballad of Trolley Brown.

Okay, I was planning on rhyming all the way through this blog, but that's difficult, so HERE COME'S DA PROSE: So there I was, I was on my way home after a day of not-insignificant drinking, I got off the train at Solihull and decided to walk the 20ish minute walk home. Those familiar with the walk to my house will know there's like a little gimmel-like thing, all over-grown and pitch-black and rustly and (probably) haunted.

Okay, and this is where my weird emotions come in, while walking through there I discovered an abandoned Tesco's shopping trolley. With my drunken craziness I anthropomorphicised this trolley, and suddenly got really worried for it - it was all alone in this scary environment, miles away from the nearest Tesco's. Who knows how it could have got there!? Or what could have been planned for it!? Maybe some malcontent had abducted it and was planning on dumping it in the canal!?

So I took it home.

I rolled it along for the last five minutes of my journey home and parked it in my dining room. At that point it just occured to me that my dad may find its sudden appearance a bit weird. So I got out and the post-its and intended to write an explanation, "IT FOLLOWED ME HOME" read my scrawled note.

The next morning my dad burst into my room bein' all like, 'wah wah wah, I don't want for there to be trolley!' And, unfortunately, in my half-asleep, hung-over state, I could really defend its presence.

And so, as I woke up yesterday morning, I found the trolley had been taken away.

I had a lot of dreams for that trolley, I was planning on taking it up to Uni, and living a full and bountiful (and trolleyful) life with it. But nope, all that was gone.

... *mumble grumble*