A Man What's Bin A Beenman...

The other day I was thinking about what to do with myself if I actually do manage to graduate from this hellhole.

I'm thinking of taking a job as a binman. Down in That London. The 'being in That London'-bit is due to several factors: 1) that's where the Foreign and Commonwealth Office lives, and if I want to get a job from them, it would help if I lived within pestering distance, 2) fun people live there, and after three years of perpetual loneliness, I figure it'd be fun to have a social life again and 3) That London is cool.

'Shut up Tom', I hear you all saying, 'we may be idiots, but we can at least understand why you'd want to live in That London, (why do you keep calling it that?), but you better give us a rational reason why you want to be a binman, or we'll send you to Bedlam!'

Well. Um. Err. Binmanry, I feel, would be a very rewarding vocation to vocate upon whilst waiting to get my better, dream job. I would imagine rubbish collection would be a very humble job, and honestly, I feel the human race could do with a bit more humbleness, so I'll lead by example! Secondly, I think I'd be alright at it: so far in my working life I've fumbled around in offices and worked behind a bar, both of these, if I'm being objective, were things I was shit at, so I think it'd be nice to do a job that I may actually have a chance of being alright at, and where I don't have to pretend to be nice to douchefaced customers or twatty employers.

But, the main reason is that I would really like to able to say at some point a decade down the line that I, Tom Deery, used to be a binman. It'd really boost my proletarian street-cred and make younger people feel uncomfortable around me. Both deserve yays.